You will struggle at challenging the eating disorder….a lot. That is completely normal and expected as eating disorders are aggressive and tenacious. Dust yourself off and keep going- don’t give up. We are not asking you to be perfect. The goal is EFFECTIVE. Perfect parenting isn’t realistic or even needed. And if you find that things are going almost too well, it’s possible we need to poke the bear more- this should not be easy.
Eating disorders are sneaky, smart and good at getting what it wants.
To outsmart the ED you need to challenge it effectively.
Here are some tips!
-Temper your expectations. Recovery is never linear and if you know that from the beginning it can help manage feelings of perfectionism.
-The number one goal for the treatment of anorexia is weight restoration. Put your other problem behaviors on hold- initially focus on your child gaining weight weekly.
-Create a contract with clear expectations, rewards and realistic consequences that you will follow through with. I wish adolescents and teens just had the will to recover but they NEED reasons to.
-Cope ahead for the week by anticipating tough days or situations- like eating at a restaurant, a family event or a fear food. Planning beforehand can reduce anxiety and help caregivers feel more confident increasing the likelihood that the child will eat.
-Direct meal prompts are helpful in getting your child to start eating. “Pick up the spoon, take a bite” etc. are effective at moving your child through a meal and being firm and calmly in control sends a clear message to the eating disorder that you aren’t going anywhere.
-Meals should be approximately 30 minutes and snacks 15. This set them up to be able to eat at school and with friends so while it can be tempting to give your child endless time to get through a meal we highly suggest setting clear time constraints will reduce your burnout and set your child up for success.